Escape to Paradise: Taiwan's Royal Kingdom Hotel Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we are diving headfirst into the Royal Kingdom Hotel in Taiwan! Forget those sterile, overly-polished reviews, you're getting THIS one: unfiltered, messy, and filled with more opinions than a Taiwanese night market has noodles. This is going to be a wild ride. Let's see if this Kingdom truly is royal.
First Impressions & Overall Vibe:
Okay, first things first, the name itself, "Royal Kingdom Hotel"… it's a little much, right? I was half-expecting to be greeted by a knight in shining armour. Instead, it was a perfectly polite concierge. The hotel itself is a bit of a mixed bag, a polished exterior hinting at luxury, but with a certain… Taiwanese charm. By that I mean, things aren't always perfectly seamless, but they're always genuinely trying to please. Think a meticulously groomed poodle next to a friendly, slightly muddy street dog. The lobby is grand, the air conditioning hums (a must in Taiwan!), and there's a faint smell of… something… probably the expensive air freshener doing its best.
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag
Alright, my friends with mobility issues, let's be honest. The Royal Kingdom isn't perfectly accessible, but it's pretty good. Elevators? Check. Wheelchair accessible? Yes! Facilities for disabled guests? Yep, they've got those. Exterior corridor and interior corridor? Depends on your room! It's not flawless, mind you. Sometimes the ramps are a little steep, the paths a bit narrow, and the occasional doorframe that makes you stop to think before passing it might appear, but they are really giving it a go. Check-in/out [express]? Yup. Check-in/out [private]? Also available. Overall, they're trying, and I'm not going to yell at them for it too much.
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Safe and Sound
This is where the Royal Kingdom shines. Especially post-pandemic. Rooms sanitized between stays? Absolutely. Rooms sanitization opt-out available? I didn't try, but I'm betting you could. Professional-grade sanitizing services? They are not kidding! Anti-viral cleaning products? Bet your bottom dollar. I saw staff constantly wiping things down. Hand sanitizer? Everywhere, like it’s a national treasure. Daily disinfection in common areas? Oh yes. Staff trained in safety protocol? The staff knew what they were doing! First aid kit? Present and accounted for. Doctor/nurse on call? Luckily, I didn't need them, but it's good to know they're there! Hygiene certification? Gotta be. Made me feel like I could lick the walls (but I didn't). Physical distancing of at least 1 meter? They try, in the restaurant at least. All in all, I felt very safe. It's a huge plus. CCTV in common areas? Watching you, always. CCTV outside property? Same! Fire extinguisher? Yes! Smoke alarms? Yep. Security [24-hour]? Absolutely. Soundproof rooms? Mostly. My neighbor's karaoke practice, though? Not so much.
Rooms: A Mixed Bag of Comfort and Quirks
My room, my room… It was clean. Like, hospital-clean clean. Air conditioning? Yes, and vital! Air conditioning in public area? Double yes! Blackout curtains? Blissful, dark, beautiful blackout curtains. Non-smoking? Absolutely. Not a whiff of smoke to be found! Free Wi-Fi? You betcha, and it worked great! Free bottled water? Standard. Bathtub? Check! Separate shower/bathtub? Separate shower and bathtub! Toiletries? Nice ones! Slippers? Yes! Bathrobes? Soft and fluffy! Coffee/tea maker? A lifesaver. I needed my tea. Desk? Yep. Alarm clock? Tick. In-room safe box? Always good to have. Mini bar? Well stocked. The little fridge hummed like a benevolent giant. Refrigerator? Part of the mini bar. Daily housekeeping? Excellent and efficient. Linens? Clean and crisp. Extra long bed? Good to have, never know. I’ve never had a problem with the bed. Now for the downsides. The decor? Let’s just say it leans towards classic. Not modern. Not trendy. Think your wealthy aunt's living room, with an added layer of… Taiwanese embellishment. Soundproofing? Could be better. I heard a karaoke battle raging at 3 am. In-room safe box? The room felt a bit “hotel” for some reason. But, hey, at least it was clean. The view? Well, mine was… meh. But hey, I’m not complaining!
One quirk? The bathroom phone. I can't imagine needing to call for help from the bathtub, but hey, it's there. The TV? Plenty of channels, including… let’s just say you will find something to watch. My wake up service was timely. Overall, pretty good.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Food Glorious Food (Mostly)
Now we're talking! The Royal Kingdom Hotel puts on a serious spread. Okay, the Breakfast [buffet] is the star. It's a Western breakfast, featuring your standard bacon, eggs, sausages, plus all the extras, like a lot of yummy, fresh cut fruit (papaya!), and a glorious assortment of pastries. My biggest problem was the sheer quantity of stuff! Seriously, you could gain 5 kilos just from the breakfast buffet. They had an Asian breakfast, too. Noodle soup, a variety of dim sum, that sort of thing. Coffee/tea in restaurant? Plenty of it. Restaurants? Several. Poolside bar? Yes, and a good one. Happy hour? Indeed! A la carte in restaurant? Yes. International cuisine in restaurant? Check. Western cuisine in restaurant? Yep. Vegetarian restaurant? I didn't see a dedicated one, but most places had veggie options. Snack bar? For those mid-afternoon cravings. Coffee shop? Yep. Room service [24-hour]? Blessedly available! Desserts in restaurant? Oh, yes. Salad in restaurant? Plenty. Soup in restaurant? All the soups. Bottle of water? Always provided. The Asian cuisine in restaurant was very good. The Buffet in restaurant was massive. Alternative meal arrangement? I'm guessing so. The Safe dining setup felt very safe! Individually-wrapped food options? They had them.
My biggest regret? I never made it to the Happy hour. Damn it! My biggest triumph? That breakfast buffet, man…
Things to Do and Ways to Relax: Pamper Yourself (Or Don't)
This is where the Royal Kingdom aims for luxury. Swimming pool? Yep, a lovely outdoor one. Pool with view? Depending on your perspective, yes. Gym/fitness? They have a decent one. Spa? Oh yes. Sauna? In the spa, yes. Steamroom? Ditto. Massage? They have massage. Body scrub/Body wrap? I didn't try, but they're on the menu. Foot bath? Probably. I wanted to use the spa, but honestly, I was too busy eating breakfast and then napping. But they had it all! You know, that general feeling of a place that’s trying to be a resort?
Services and Conveniences: Catering to Your Every Whim
They genuinely try to make life easy. Concierge? Super helpful. Laundry service/Dry cleaning? Convenient. Luggage storage? No problem. Daily housekeeping? Excellent. Elevator? Vital. Car park [free of charge]? Bonus! Currency exchange? Yes! Cash withdrawal? Yup. Meeting/banquet facilities? For the business types. Business facilities? They had all the business stuff. Contactless check-in/out? Offered. Doorman? Always there! Air conditioning in public area? Essential! Gift/souvenir shop? For those last-minute gifts. Convenience store? Right there! Car park [on-site]? Yes. Taxi service? Available. Airport transfer? They arrange it. Baby sitting? Yes!
For the Kids:
They welcome families. Babysitting service? Check. Family/child friendly? Yes. Kids facilities? Likely!
Getting Around:
Easy access to taxi!
Internet Access:
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Absolutely. Internet access – wireless? Yup. Internet? Reliable
Hilton London Gatwick: Airport Luxury You Can't Resist!
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because this itinerary is about to get real. We’re talking about Hotel Royal Kingdom in Taiwan, and my sanity… well, we'll see if it survives. Prepare for a wild ride – think less "smooth operator," more "nervous traveler with a penchant for getting lost and accidentally ordering fish-flavored ice cream." Here we go!
Day 1: Arrival and the "Oh, God, Taipei is BIG" Panic
- 08:00 - 12:00: The pre-flight hell. Packing, repacking, realizing I haven’t even thought about exchanging currency. Cue the frantic dash to the airport. Flights are always… an event. I'm never sure if the turbulence is going to kill me or if I'm just being a drama queen. (Spoiler alert: probably the latter).
- 12:00 - 14:00: Touchdown Taipei! Woohoo! Except… the airport. Holy cow, it's enormous. And hot. And did someone say… humidity? I immediately regretted my "stylish-but-impractical" linen pants. The moment I get my precious suitcase back, I'm gonna search for the nearest air conditioning ASAP.
- 14:00 - 16:00: Getting to the Hotel. Navigating the MRT (Mass Rapid Transit) felt like deciphering hieroglyphics at first. Seriously, the Mandarin announcements are a blur of… well, Mandarin. Thank god for the helpful people with their helpful hand gestures. I think they felt sorry for the bewildered look on my face. The Hotel Royal Kingdom is a gorgeous structure, but it felt like I was walking into a palace.
- 16:00 - 17:00: Check-in. "Welcome, sir! We have a lovely room for you." Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just give me the key! (Internal monologue: Don’t embarrass yourself. Don't break anything. Don't accidentally order a room service banquet with the click of a button.)
- 17:00 - 18:00: Room Reconnaissance & Mild Existential Crisis. Okay, the room is… opulent. Like, seriously, gold accents and a view of the city. It's beautiful, but also… overwhelming. I'm pretty sure I can get lost inside. This is when the jet lag REALLY hits, and I question all my life choices. Should I even unpack? Or just curl up in a ball on the giant bed and weep softly?
- 18:00 - 20:00: First Meal of Many! Find a nearby restaurant (deciding on an actual restaurant is a journey for me, honestly. I'm terrible at food choices). I'm trying something new. I think I ordered… something. Fingers crossed it's not… fish-flavored ice cream. I'm still not over that. The food was incredible! I ate until I was stuffed.
Day 2: Temple Treasures and Taipei 101 – Heights and Humility
- 08:00 - 09:00: Breakfast at the Hotel. Free breakfast? Excellent! I try something new that’s weirdly delicious. Maybe I'm just delirious from jetlag, but I’m going to call this a win!.
- 09:00 - 12:00: Longshan Temple Adventure. Okay, this temple. It's like stepping into another world. Incense smoke, vibrant colors, the chanting… wow. I stood there for a good fifteen minutes just watching people. I was moved. Also, I nearly tripped over my own feet admiring a particularly ornate dragon.
- 12:00 - 13:00: Quick Lunch near the Temple. Grab a cheap and delicious street food bite. Honestly, the best part about travelling.
- 13:00 - 15:00: Taipei 101: Up, up, and (slightly) away! The elevator ride is smooth, and the view… woah. I spent ages just staring out at the city. It’s so sprawling. I started to wonder if little people were living in the windows of all those buildings, living their lives in tiny apartments, and that it was all a gigantic, beautiful, messy dollhouse.
- 15:00 - 16:00: (Optional) Shopping Spree in the Taipei 101 Mall. Nope. Too many people. Too much temptation. My wallet and I agreed to skip it.
- 16:00 - 18:00: Walk Back to the Hotel. This is when I feel safe. The hotel is where I want to be. At least for a little bit.
- 18:00 - 20:00: Dinner in the hotel/near the hotel. I don’t know, I'm tired, I'll probably just eat whatever is easiest.
Day 3: Hot Springs and Heavenly Cakes (and Internal Struggles)
- 09:00 - 10:00: Sleep in! I'm on vacation, dammit!
- 10:00 - 11:00 Breakfast at the Hotel. It's all you can eat and I love it.
- 11:00 - 14:00: Beitou Hot Springs. I've ALWAYS wanted to go- and it's here. We went in the public pool. It was magical. Okay, weird, I was so self-conscious about my body. But then everyone else was too, and it was fine. I might have stayed in the warm water for too long. I began to feel that everything was fine.
- 14:00 - 15:00: Lunch & Tea Time. A casual lunch and tea in the area.
- 15:00 - 17:00: The National Palace Museum. Sooo many treasures. Like, I’m talking, artifacts that are thousands of years old that people are still trying to figure out. My brain went into museum overload. I'm not even sure I saw everything.
- 17:00 - 18:00: Return to the Hotel. I need a nap.
- 18:00 - 20:00: Dinner at a Night Market. I didn't get lost. I knew what I was ordering. It was perfect.
Day 4: Reflection and Departure (Maybe, Probably, Hopefully)
- 09:00-10:00: Breakfast, packing, and a deep breath. I'm leaving today and I'm not ready. I love it here.
- 10:00-11:00: Final Walk. A last walk around the Hotel, to take it all in. Wow. I'm going to miss this.
- 11:00-13:00: Check out (hoping I haven't forgotten to leave a tip) and transportation to the airport.
- 13:00-15:00: Airport hell again. Hopefully, this flight is less turbulent.
- 15:00-onward: Flight home… or, you know, the start of the next adventure.
Important Notes (aka, my own personal chaos):
- Transportation: I have no sense of direction. I'm relying heavily on Google Maps and the kindness of strangers.
- Food: I’m a picky eater, but I'm trying to be adventurous. Cross your fingers.
- Shopping: I'll probably buy too many souvenirs. Don't judge me.
- Emotions: Expect mood swings. Jet lag is a beast.
- Things I want to do: I never get to do everything I want. That's why I come again.
So, there you have it. My brutally honest, probably slightly disorganized, Taipei adventure. Wish me luck. I'm going to need it. And maybe… just maybe… I'll come back with a story worth telling. Or at least a funny anecdote about a disastrous food order. Either way, it'll be an experience.
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Escape to Paradise: Taiwan's Royal Kingdom Hotel Awaits! (or Does It?) - An FAQ, Because Let's Be Honest, You Need One
Okay, Royal Kingdom Hotel... What IS it, exactly? Sounds pretentious.
Alright, fair play. The name *is* a bit much. Basically, it's supposed to be this super-luxe hotel in Taiwan. Think fancy-pants decor, supposedly impeccable service... the kind of place where they probably iron your *thoughts*, not just your clothes. I say "supposed to be" because the reality... well, let's just say it gets interesting. It changes. You'll see. Don't expect Disney, I'm just saying.
Is it REALLY "escape to paradise" material? Or is that just marketing fluff?
Oh, the marketing! They'll dangle "escape to paradise" in front of you like a carrot. And here's the truth bomb: part of me *did* escape. I mean, I got away from my laundry and that godawful conference call. But paradise? Look, some bits were genuinely amazing, like staring out at the mountains from my absurdly large bathtub. Others... well, I spent a full hour wrestling with the in-room coffee machine. Paradise? Possibly purgatory with a view? You take your chances.
How much does this "Royal Kingdom" *cost*, roughly? My bank account is already weeping.
Okay, so yeah, it's not budget-friendly. Think "splurge" territory. Prices of course fluctuate based on season, room type, whether or not you book a week in advance like a rational human being... or 3 hours beforehand, like yours truly. Let's just say I paid enough that I considered selling a kidney. Which, on reflection, might have been the more rational financial decision. Look at the website, but prepare yourself. It's a commitment.
Room types? Fancy? What's the deal?
They've got a whole pyramid scheme of rooms. The basic ones are… adequate. Nothing to write home about, except maybe to warn your friends: "Avoid room 347; the air conditioning is a grumpy sloth." Then you go up, up, up the ladder of expense. I splurged (yes, the kidney thing crossed my mind) on a suite. Giant bed, separate living area, a balcony... I felt like a minor celebrity. Until I realized there was no decent lighting for reading. First world problems, right? Still, get the best room you can stomach. You’re paying to feel good, darn it!
Were the rooms clean? Because, you know… hygiene is important.
Generally, yeah. Clean-ish. I'm a germaphobe at heart, so I'm always on high alert. I did a quick inspection upon arrival – you know, the whole "check under the bed, peek in the corners" routine. No obvious horrors. Dust bunnies, maybe. Possibly a stray hair that wasn't mine. But nothing that triggered a full-blown panic attack. Let's just say they are not the *cleanest* hotel I've ever stayed. But hey! I'm still alive.
What about the view? Did it live up to the hype?
Okay, the view. That was the one thing that really delivered. My suite -- and I repeat, I paid for my suite – overlooked the mountains. Breathtaking, genuinely breathtaking. Waking up to that vista was worth every agonizing penny. Sitting there, staring out the window, sipping lukewarm coffee (the machine, ugh), and feeling a tiny thrill that came from knowing I'd made it through the night. The view was seriously top-notch. Absolutely, absolutely gorgeous. I could've easily forgiven the coffee machine for this. Almost.
The food! What's the grub like? I'm a foodie, a *serious* foodie.
The food. This is where things get… interesting. They have several restaurants, ranging from "fancy pants" to "slightly less fancy pants." The fancy-pants place was… fine. Overpriced, of course. Tiny portions. That whole "art on a plate" thing, which leaves me hungry an hour later. I'm a simple person, I like big portions and tasty food. The less-fancy option was better, more casual, less pretentious. The buffet? Hit or miss. Some days were awesome; some days were the culinary equivalent of a beige nightmare. I'd recommend trying the local restaurants, the hotel food, it can be hit and miss, and you may struggle.
Any good bar recommendations? I have a thirst to quench, and possibly a few things to forget...
There's a bar. Or, rather, there *was* a bar. It had fancy cocktails, dim lighting, and the kind of music that's designed to make you feel sophisticated and a bit lonely. It was located inside the hotel. A lovely place to escape. But I found it was often empty. Also, it was super expensive. I'd make a few cocktails in my room, then wander off and get a taxi to another bar, even a local one. Just get out of the hotel, and find happiness elsewhere.
Spa, gym, pool? Spill the tea on the extra stuff.
Ah, the bonus round. The spa was supposed to be amazing. I'm not entirely sure, because I had a deep tissue massage, and the therapist was clearly having a bad day or something. It may have been a bad choice by me. The gym… well, it had equipment. Dated equipment. Equipment that made me feel old and creaky. The pool was nice, though. Clean. Big. A good place to pretend you're a glamorous movie star, even if you're just me, floating aimlessly, trying not to think about the bill. The facilities are fine, but not mind-blowing.
